If you look up the definition of networking, Merriam-Webster
describes it as “the exchange of information or services among individuals,
groups, or institutions; specifically: the cultivation of productive
relationships for employment or business.” Are you doing things that are
preventing those productive relationships from forming, perhaps unknowingly?
Here are some ways to NOT network like a jerk.
Put Your Phone
Away. Nothing says, “This conversation isn’t important to me,” more than
answering a phone call or text in the middle of one. This might seem obvious,
but you’d be surprised how often this happens. Unless it’s an emergency, and
that does happen, keep phone activity (e.g. texting, talking) at a minimum.
Introduce Yourself
and Ask for an Introduction in Return. Again, this sounds like a
no-brainer. There are people out there, though, that walk up to someone,
introduce themselves, give their elevator pitch, hand out their card, and walk
away. If you employ this tactic at a networking event, don’t be surprised if
you find a few of your business cards in the garbage by the end of the event.
Ask Questions, But
Don’t Be Too Invasive. I once saw a gentlemen at a networking event ask a
newly married couple if they had gotten into their first fight yet. Talk about
invasive! Asking questions is a great way to start getting to know someone, but
be careful what you ask. As a rule, stay away from politics and religion. Don’t
get too personal either. Unless the person volunteers the information, don’t
ask about marital status, if they have children or not, or what their financial
situation is. It could be a sensitive topic for that person at the moment.
Don’t Be
Judgmental. Mary drives an older car when she commutes around town. One
time, a gentleman at a networking event saw what she drove and said, “You own a
business and you drive THAT?” Pretty rude, right? It happens. What are the odds
of Mary wanting to cultivate a relationship with him after that comment? The
best rule is the one that most of our parents taught us. If you don’t have
anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. And remember that people have
different senses of humor too.
Show Genuine
Interest. Dale Carnegie said that, “a person’s name is the sweetest sound
in the world to that person.” Along those same lines, people like to talk about
themselves and their businesses. True, the conversation should be a two-way
street, but show a genuine interest in your new connection’s endeavors. If you
truly aren’t interested, graciously excuse yourself at an appropriate point in
the conversation and don’t waste anyone’s time. Let that person find someone
who IS interested.
Don’t Sell. As
counterintuitive as that might sound, a networking event is not the time to be
selling. Not a hard sell, at least. If someone wants more information about
your business and what you do, they will ask. If someone has a mild interest in
your product or service, they will ask for a business card. Keep in mind that,
in a broad sense, everyone there is trying to accomplish the same thing you
are. Do you attend networking events to buy something? Neither is anyone else.
First impressions last. People want to forge
relationships with people that they like.
Looking for a good book on networking? "Stand Out Networking: A Simple and Authentic Way to Meet People on Your Own Terms" by Dorie Clark is highly recommended.
