How NOT to Network Like a Jerk

If you look up the definition of networking, Merriam-Webster describes it as “the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically: the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business.” Are you doing things that are preventing those productive relationships from forming, perhaps unknowingly? Here are some ways to NOT network like a jerk.

Put Your Phone Away. Nothing says, “This conversation isn’t important to me,” more than answering a phone call or text in the middle of one. This might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how often this happens. Unless it’s an emergency, and that does happen, keep phone activity (e.g. texting, talking) at a minimum.

Introduce Yourself and Ask for an Introduction in Return. Again, this sounds like a no-brainer. There are people out there, though, that walk up to someone, introduce themselves, give their elevator pitch, hand out their card, and walk away. If you employ this tactic at a networking event, don’t be surprised if you find a few of your business cards in the garbage by the end of the event.

Ask Questions, But Don’t Be Too Invasive. I once saw a gentlemen at a networking event ask a newly married couple if they had gotten into their first fight yet. Talk about invasive! Asking questions is a great way to start getting to know someone, but be careful what you ask. As a rule, stay away from politics and religion. Don’t get too personal either. Unless the person volunteers the information, don’t ask about marital status, if they have children or not, or what their financial situation is. It could be a sensitive topic for that person at the moment.

Don’t Be Judgmental. Mary drives an older car when she commutes around town. One time, a gentleman at a networking event saw what she drove and said, “You own a business and you drive THAT?” Pretty rude, right? It happens. What are the odds of Mary wanting to cultivate a relationship with him after that comment? The best rule is the one that most of our parents taught us. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. And remember that people have different senses of humor too.

Show Genuine Interest. Dale Carnegie said that, “a person’s name is the sweetest sound in the world to that person.” Along those same lines, people like to talk about themselves and their businesses. True, the conversation should be a two-way street, but show a genuine interest in your new connection’s endeavors. If you truly aren’t interested, graciously excuse yourself at an appropriate point in the conversation and don’t waste anyone’s time. Let that person find someone who IS interested.

Don’t Sell. As counterintuitive as that might sound, a networking event is not the time to be selling. Not a hard sell, at least. If someone wants more information about your business and what you do, they will ask. If someone has a mild interest in your product or service, they will ask for a business card. Keep in mind that, in a broad sense, everyone there is trying to accomplish the same thing you are. Do you attend networking events to buy something? Neither is anyone else.

First impressions last. People want to forge relationships with people that they like.

Looking for a good book on networking? "Stand Out Networking: A Simple and Authentic Way to Meet People on Your Own Terms" by Dorie Clark is highly recommended.