Why I Don't Follow the Golden Rule

"Once upon a time, there was an employee named Bill. He just got a promotion at work and was going to supervise two people: Jack and Jim. This was the first time Bill was going to be supervising people and he was nervous and excited about it. The night before his first day in his new position, he was thinking about how he could be a good and effective supervisor and he immediately thought of his boss, John. He thought John was a great boss! John would check on Bill at least twice a day to see how he was doing and what he was working on. Bill liked that. He knew how to do his job, but it was nice that John would give him that daily feedback, which provided him the reassurance that he was doing everything correctly and was prioritizing work properly. Bill decided that he was going to supervise Jack and Jim in the exact same way. After all, HE liked being supervised that way.

After a couple months passed in his new position, Bill noticed things weren’t going so well with Jim. Jack was doing great and the two of them got along very well. Jim was a different story. When Bill would come by Jim’s office to pay his twice-daily visits, Jim wouldn’t look happy and kept his comments very short. When Bill would ask questions, Jim’s responses were equally as short and not as detailed as Bill would have liked them to be. Bill started thinking that Jim might be a problem employee."

No, Jim is not a problem employee. The problem was Bill was following the Golden Rule: treat others as you would want to be treated. Bill did well with Jack because Jack also was the type of worker who liked frequent feedback from his superior. Jim, on the other hand, was an independent type who liked being told what to do and then going and doing it. If he had questions or problems, he’d speak up. If you didn’t hear from him, that meant everything was OK. Jim found Bill’s supervisory style smothering and felt micromanaged, which resulted in the behavior he exhibited.

Bill thought he was doing the right thing. He was treating his employees like he wanted to be treated. The issue was that he was not treating Jim the way JIM wanted to be treated. 

And this is why I don’t follow the Golden Rule when it comes to interpersonal relationships inside OR outside of work. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own version of what’s right or wrong, good or bad. So the moral of the story?

Treat others the way THEY want to be treated.

The End.